There are many different routes to becoming a mum.
Today has been a breath of fresh air, and a deep debrief, all at the at the same time.
It’s been such a busy few weeks and I’ve barely had time to stop and think, or do anything but work-home-parent. Today I had to fit in yet another thing, but this time it involved sitting down and someone truly and deeply listening to my surrogacy journeys.
I’m sure I’ll share more about the lady who was listening to me later on, but for now, this lady travelled 5 hours to visit me today, spent 3 and a half solid hours listening, and as I type right now, she is still on her 5 hour journey home again.
She listened. Solidly. Intently. Deeply. She was with me to just hear my story. She cried with me when I cried, and she smiled with me when I smiled. She was totally present in the story of my last 4 years whilst I started out on my surrogacy journey, and then listened excitedly as I talked about the IVF process and the moment we did the positive pregnancy test. I could see in her face and body that she was feeling the trauma we all felt at the difficult birth of surrobaby number one, and the elation and prowess we felt at the incredible and warrior-like birth of surrobaby number two.
As a woman who has walked her own incredible journey to have her own babies, she listened without judgement or comparison.
She was just wholly and deeply present.
To me, it feels like this is a skill that is lacking in so much of the human race nowadays.
As I continue to add to my book about Fertility/Family journeys I’d love to hear other people’s positive stories. If you’d like to share your story, named or anonymous, please contact me and we will share your story to give others hope.
Today as we sat there chatting, as two mothers who have carried their own babies, as well as adopted and as well as carried as a surrogate mum, we both felt honoured to bring love and attention to all the different ways we become mothers.