5 things to look for in a Fertility Therapist

Jay KellyBlog, Fertile Man, Fertility, Surrogacy, Well Woman and Fertility

5 things to look for in a fertility therapist.

My top tips for finding the right Fertility Specialist for you are primarily coming from a Mind-Body perspective on Fertility. My specialist area covers Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT in particular, and since I’m a passionate ‘NON-Jack of All Trades’ advocate, but I have a big passion for the fact that different methods and tools suit different people, and at different times in their cycles/lives.

1. Does the therapist advertise all manner of specialist areas? Say weight-loss and smoking and anxiety and Indian head massage and colour therapy and crystal massages… If so, ask yourself if you are just finding rapport with that particular person and if it doesn’t matter to you that they aren’t actually specialising in the area of Fertility? If it’s the person, then that is more than fine… but if it’s a therapist with this particular specialism you are looking for, then I’d suggest investigating further.

2. Does the therapist claim that what they do is all you need? Do they hold back from referring you on to other specialists in the field of fertility? If so, then please run!

I have to say that in all the years of working in this field, my most successful years have been with collaborations. I have clients referred to me from Fertility Acupuncturists, from Reflexologists, from Mizan Therapists (abdominal massage) etc… and I also refer clients on to these different therapists and techniques too. What is best for the client is frequently a whole menagerie of techniques and tools for different phases. Be very wary of those that want to keep you as their client alone. That is about them, rather than you.

3. Personal Experience. This one is going to vary from person to person. What does your therapist’s personal experience mean to you? Do you like the idea that they have walked the same path as you? Does it matter if they conceived or not? Are you motivated by those who have had natural conception or does it leave you feeling that they don’t understand what you are going through? Does all of that not matter to you in the slightest?

It’s a bit of a big, and awkward question, but I ask purely because the subconscious mind often has different ideas to the conscious mind, and it’s better to establish what you feel may be your ideal before you begin looking for the right person to work with.

4. What is the therapist’s end goal? Are they luring you in with promises of pregnancy? Because if they are, again, run! Even ICSI & IVF can’t promise you that.

A good Fertility Therapist has their mindset on holding your space throughout your journey, whether that is to create healing space, or emotional space whilst you walk this path, or work in ways to help you create the most healthy fertile landing spot that you can. They will not be focused on ‘getting you pregnant.’

As a mum of four (conceived naturally) and a surrogate mum of two babies conceived through IVF for friends, even with the experience and knowledge that I have, even with the best hand-holding, even with acupuncture, reflexology, Mizan, nutritional support, hypnotherapy and EFT, the first baby still had a cycle that didn’t work out. The second baby had a couple of cancelled cycles because we felt things weren’t as optimum as they should have been, so out of 4 rounds of IVF, we created and grew two babies. Sometimes it’s the body, even the most fertile of bodies have cycles that aren’t optimum for conception, and sometimes the embryo isn’t quite as would be hoped for.

If someone puts their focus on ‘success rates’ etc, please question further.

5. Rapport and Trust. Can’t say much more than that really!

As always, my parting words are a message of HOPE. Keep hope alive. Live, sleep, eat, breathe hope. Never stop dreaming big x